ADHD, Autism & LGBTQIA+ Identity: Insights from a Neurodiverse Therapist
Neurodivergence—whether ADHD, autism, or other ways of wiring—is more common than many realize. In the United States, approximately 6.1 million children have been diagnosed with ADHD, and about 1 in 36 children are diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (CDC, 2023). Yet, many adults—especially women, nonbinary, and gender-diverse individuals—are diagnosed late or remain undiagnosed for years, navigating life without the language or support they need.
As a late-diagnosed ADHD woman in a neurodiverse relationship myself, I know firsthand the complexity and the tenderness involved in learning to live alongside a brain that processes and perceives the world differently. In my work as a therapist here in Fort Collins, Colorado, I have the privilege of walking alongside queer, transgender, and neurodivergent clients who are reclaiming their stories amid the noise of societal expectations, systemic barriers, and internalized shame.
LGBTQIA+ individuals in the U.S. are nearly twice as likely to be diagnosed with ADHD or autism compared to their cisgender, heterosexual peers (National Institute of Mental Health, 2024). This striking overlap points to an important truth: neurodivergence and queer identity are often intertwined, shaped by neurobiological factors, cultural contexts, and systemic injustices.
This post explores the lived realities at this intersection. It honors the struggles of invisibility and shame while illuminating the creative, compassionate, and often trial-and-error approaches that many of us use to thrive. Together, let’s reflect on what it means to live neurodivergently and queerly in a world still learning to make room for difference.
The Neurobiological and Identity Overlap
The relationship between neurodivergence and LGBTQIA+ identities isn’t coincidental. Studies show that autistic adults are significantly more likely to identify as non-heterosexual or non-cisgender than the general population. For example, research indicates autistic adults are:
8 times more likely to identify as asexual or “other” sexuality
Autistic men are 3.5 times more likely to be bisexual
Autistic women are 3 times more likely to be homosexual (George & Stokes, 2018)
Similarly, individuals with ADHD have been found to be 6.6 times more likely to experience gender variance or nonbinary identities (Strang et al., 2020). These correlations may stem from differences in prenatal neurochemistry, genetic factors, or the possibility that neurodivergent brains allow for freer, less socially constrained self-expression.
These overlapping identities invite us to reconsider the rigid frameworks of both gender/sexuality and neurotypicality. They also underscore why neurodivergent LGBTQIA+ people often experience marginalization on multiple fronts—from both ableism and queerphobia.
Systemic and Social Barriers: The Double Marginalization
Despite legal protections like the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), systemic ableism remains deeply entrenched in education, healthcare, and employment. Many neurodivergent people—especially those who identify as queer or trans—face significant barriers when trying to access appropriate diagnosis, accommodations, and affirming care.
In schools, resources and understanding to support neurodivergent students are often lacking. This gap is especially pronounced for high masking girls and gender-diverse youth, who are frequently overlooked or misdiagnosed, resulting in late or missed diagnoses that affect their educational trajectory and self-understanding.
Healthcare settings can be equally challenging. Neurodivergent queer individuals are often met with dismissal or pathologization, where their identities are misunderstood or conflated—such as confusing neurodivergence with gender dysphoria—without the nuanced care that their complex experiences require.
Workplaces, meanwhile, typically prioritize “normative” communication styles and executive functioning skills, marginalizing adults with ADHD, autism, or other neurodivergent traits. This often results in exclusion, lack of accommodations, social exclusion, and ongoing stress for neurodivergent employees.
Even within LGBTQIA+ communities, which serve as vital refuges for many, neurodivergence can be overlooked or inadequately supported, leaving neurodivergent members feeling isolated and unseen.
In 2024, reports from disability rights and LGBTQIA+ advocacy groups underscore these persistent challenges, including:
Alarmingly high rates of discrimination against trans autistic individuals
Frequent denial of healthcare and gender-affirming care for neurodivergent queer people
The intersecting impact of anti-trans legislation across multiple states
Increased trauma and isolation due to compounded marginalizations
These overlapping barriers create a web of exclusion and hardship that demand systemic attention and compassionate intervention (Human Rights Campaign, 2024).
Shame, Identity, and Healing: A Core Therapeutic Focus
For many neurodivergent LGBTQIA+ clients, shame is a heavy, persistent companion. Shame about being “too much,” shame about not fitting in, shame internalized from years of masking or erasure.
Therapy that moves beyond “cookie-cutter” approaches must hold this shame with radical compassion. Some of the most transformative work includes:
Shame Resourcing and Body Awareness: Helping clients notice where shame lives in the body—tight chest, clenched jaw, sinking stomach—and inviting a gentle, curious attention rather than self-judgment.
Identity Integration Mapping: Co-creating visual or narrative maps of how neurodivergence and queer identities coexist, shift, and enrich each other—validating the full self beyond clinical labels or societal norms.
Radical Self-Compassion Practices: Cultivating a voice within that acknowledges the ongoing effort it takes to navigate a neurodiverse, queer world without constant validation.
Creative Trial-and-Error Strategies: Collaboratively experimenting with tailored supports—from executive functioning tools to sensory regulation—to discover what genuinely helps, rather than relying on one-size-fits-all advice.
For example, a client might combine using noise-canceling headphones during overwhelming social situations with affirmations rooted in their cultural or spiritual identity, and a peer group that shares both queer and neurodivergent experience. This layered approach honors the complexity of lived experience.
Therapy Supporting Neurodiverse and LGBTQIA+ Folks in Fort Collins, CO
Fort Collins is home to a growing community of neurodivergent and LGBTQIA+ individuals seeking affirming, intersectional mental health care. As a therapist specializing in ADHD and queer-affirming care, I focus on:
Centering client voices in shaping goals
Navigating late diagnosis and identity development
Healing the wounds of shame and invisibility
Advocating for accommodations and systemic supports
Creating a therapeutic space that honors both neurodivergence and queerness as strengths
In addition to individual therapy, many clients benefit from community support—whether through local LGBTQIA+ centers like SPLASH, neurodivergent peer groups, or incredible advocacy and peer support organizations like Yarrow Collective.
Toward Radical Belonging and Flourishing
Being neurodivergent and queer is not a deficit—it’s a powerful way of being in the world that requires different supports, deep understanding, and immense self-compassion. This journey is often messy, painful, and filled with trial and error—but it can also be profoundly beautiful, joyful, and revolutionary.
For those navigating this intersection in Fort Collins and beyond, know this: you are not alone. Your experience matters, your identity is valid, and there is support tailored to your unique wiring and story.
If you or someone you love is seeking compassionate, nuanced care that embraces the full complexity of ADHD, autism, and LGBTQIA+ identity, I’m here to walk alongside you.
References
CDC (2023). Data & Statistics on ADHD and Autism.
George, R., & Stokes, M.A. (2018). Sexual orientation in autism spectrum disorder. Autism Research.
Strang, J.F., et al. (2020). Increased Gender Diversity in Autism. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders.
National Institute of Mental Health (2024). LGBTQIA+ and Neurodivergence Overlaps.
Human Rights Campaign (2024). Transgender Health Disparities Report.
