ADHD, Productivity, and Self-Compassion: Finding What Works for You
For years, I carried a tremendous amount of shame around productivity, habits, and self-care. I felt like I should time-block every hour, should follow a specific strategy for work, should eat consistently, exercise regularly, and maintain all the routines society tells us are “healthy” and “normal.” When I forgot to eat, skipped a workout, or couldn’t stick to a rigid plan, I felt like I was failing—like my brain and body were betraying me.
Work was especially challenging. My ADHD brain doesn’t follow a predictable, linear rhythm. Hyperfocus would hit at unexpected moments—I could spend hours completely absorbed in a task, only to feel drained, distracted, or restless afterward. My energy, focus, and mental clarity ebb and flow in cycles that don’t match conventional schedules. For a long time, I judged myself harshly for this.
Recently, I’ve been experimenting with a different approach: trying to do these things—work, self-care, movement, healthy eating—without shame. Instead of asking, “Why can’t I be like everyone else?” I ask, “What’s realistic for my brain and my energy today?” I reflect on how much of my disappointment comes from comparison to others versus genuine unmet needs or discomfort in myself.
Understanding ADHD Neurobiology
ADHD isn’t about laziness or lack of effort. Neurobiologically, ADHD brains:
Process more information simultaneously, which can feel overwhelming.
Filter stimuli differently, making it easy to get distracted or hyper-focused.
Often think nonlinearly, jumping between ideas or perspectives instead of following a sequential path.
Struggle to regulate attention in ways neurotypical brains take for granted.
Medication can be a helpful tool to navigate the neurotypical world, supporting focus, filtering information, and reducing anxiety that arises from attention overload. Even with these tools, ADHD comes with real limitations—emotional intensity, fatigue, or fear of failure can impact work, relationships, and routines.
I also recognize my own privilege as a business owner: I have flexibility in my schedule, autonomy to structure my work around my brain’s rhythms, and freedom to experiment with energy and focus cycles. This model works best for me, and I’m upfront with clients that I work this way—it’s not a fit for everyone.
Shifting From Shame to Curiosity
One of the most important shifts has been distinguishing between disappointment, discomfort, and comparison. When I feel frustrated with myself for not following a plan, I ask:
Is this disappointment because I genuinely want to meet this goal?
Or is it because I’m comparing myself to others or an external “ideal”?
How can I honor my energy, attention, and emotional needs while still working toward meaningful outcomes?
This reflection creates space for self-compassion. It allows me to notice patterns without labeling myself as “lazy” or “inconsistent.” It also opens the door to curiosity: experimenting with how hyperfocus can be harnessed for meaningful work, when breaks are necessary, and how movement, nutrition, and rest fit into my life in ways that actually feel doable.
Examples of Neurodivergent-Affirming, Client-Centered Goals
These examples are framed to work with neurodivergent brains, honoring energy cycles, attention shifts, and relational needs—rather than trying to force neurotypical “shoulds.”
Work and Focus
Flow-based task approach: Choose 1–3 meaningful tasks that feel compelling today. Let your attention guide you instead of forcing strict sequential completion.
Energy-aligned scheduling: Some days you may barely have the energy to get out of bed; other days you’re energized and hyperfocused. Track patterns to anticipate peaks and valleys and plan accordingly.
Hyperfocus harnessing: When deep focus strikes, use it intentionally on tasks that feel meaningful, then schedule recovery to prevent burnout.
Self-Care and Body Awareness
Cycle-conscious planning: For menstruating or cycling individuals, notice shifts in energy, focus, and motivation. Accept low-energy weeks and capitalize on high-energy weeks.
Flexible self-care rituals: Short, restorative practices (5–10 minutes of movement, a simple meal prep, or mindful rest) can be more sustainable than rigid routines.
Tracking patterns: Journals or simple trackers help normalize variation, reduce shame, and support intentional planning.
Relationships and Social Connection
Curated eye contact: Eye contact enhances connection but doesn’t need to be sustained constantly. Set intentions around moments that feel meaningful.
Communicating interruptive or intense energy: Interrupting or expressing emotion intensely can be part of your brain’s wiring. Use gentle cues, signals, or conversation agreements to balance your needs with others’.
Community engagement on your terms: Select social interactions that align with your energy and attention, even if they differ from typical expectations—like small groups, one-on-one conversations, or asynchronous check-ins.
Creativity and Problem-Solving
Nonlinear thinking as strategy: Capture ideas visually, with mind maps, sketches, or voice memos, rather than forcing linear solutions.
Experimentation over rigid planning: Flexible intentions and reflection allow you to refine what works for your brain, energy, and values.
Guiding Principles for Neurodivergent Living
ADHD is complex and deeply individualized, and what works for one person may not work for another. The goal isn’t to “fix” traits—it’s to leverage your strengths while honoring your brain, body, and energy.
As you reflect on your goals, ask yourself:
Who are these goals for? Are they aligned with your internal values, your needs, and your connection to others, or shaped by neurotypical expectations?
How can your ADHD traits—hyperfocus, nonlinear thinking, heightened energy, or emotional intensity—be used as tools rather than obstacles?
Where can you experiment with flexibility, curiosity, and self-compassion in your work, routines, and relationships?
Celebrate curiosity, small wins, and self-compassion—not adherence to someone else’s standard. Recognize that energy, focus, and emotional intensity naturally ebb and flow; no state is permanent. By exploring these questions and honoring your neurobiology, you can begin to redefine productivity, self-care, relationships, and success on your own terms.
Therapy That Honors Your Unique Brain: Support in Fort Collins, CO
If you’ve been struggling with productivity, focus, or self-care because traditional “shoulds” and neurotypical expectations don’t fit your brain, ADHD therapy in Fort Collins can offer a different approach. In a supportive, nonjudgmental space, we’ll explore strategies that honor your energy, attention, and natural rhythms, helping you harness your strengths instead of fighting them. Whether it’s building routines that work for your brain, managing hyperfocus, navigating emotional intensity, or improving relationships and communication, therapy can help you create sustainable, meaningful patterns.
Take the first step toward understanding your neurodivergent brain and designing a life that aligns with your values. Schedule a consultation today and start discovering strategies that truly work for you—without shame, without comparison, and with more self-compassion.
