Sitting with Curiosity: Exploring Sex, Intimacy, and Relationships in Therapy
During a human sexuality class I took in graduate school, I had a moment that completely changed how I think about sex, intimacy, and relationships. For the first time, I realized I had never truly sat with the big questions about my own sexual beliefs, biases, or assumptions. I hadn’t thought critically about how my upbringing, culture, or personal experiences shaped my understanding of intimacy—and that awareness was eye-opening.
This realization taught me something profound: these questions aren’t just academic—they’re deeply personal, and they’re relevant for everyone. Whether you identify as heterosexual, LGBTQIA+, or somewhere in between, reflecting on your relationship to sex and intimacy can be a powerful doorway to self-discovery and growth.
Why Exploring Sexuality Matters
Sex and intimacy aren’t isolated aspects of life—they’re connected to almost every part of our relational world. How we relate to ourselves in our bodies, how we set boundaries, how we communicate desire, and even how we navigate conflict all tie back to our experiences of intimacy. Sitting with questions about sexuality can help you:
Understand your body and your desires with more compassion.
Notice patterns in relationships that may have felt confusing or challenging.
Explore ways to connect more authentically with partners, friends, and yourself.
Challenge cultural or internalized norms that may no longer serve you.
Questions to Spark Curiosity
Here’s a full list of thought-provoking questions I encourage clients to explore in therapy. You don’t need to answer them all at once—pick a few that feel relevant and see where your curiosity takes you.
1. Exploring Beliefs & Norms
What messages did I grow up hearing about sex, intimacy, or my body? How do they shape me?
Which of those messages still feel true or helpful today? Which feel limiting or outdated?
If I could rewrite the “rules” I learned about sex or relationships, what would they be?
How do cultural, religious, or family values still influence the way I approach intimacy?
2. Connection to Self & Body
What does pleasure mean to me beyond just the physical?
How comfortable am I expressing my needs, boundaries, or desires—to myself first, and to others?
What role does shame or guilt play in my relationship to sex or intimacy?
In what ways do I feel most connected to my body? Least connected?
3. Expanding Possibilities
How do I define intimacy? What forms (physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual) feel most important to me?
When I think of sexual fulfillment, does it come from performance, connection, playfulness, exploration, or something else?
What would it look like to separate sex from obligation, expectation, or “shoulds”?
If I could imagine intimacy on my own terms—free from cultural scripts—what would it look and feel like?
4. Challenging Assumptions
Do I notice differences between how I view my own sexuality and how I view others’? Where do those differences come from?
How do I define “healthy” sexuality, and how much of that definition comes from me versus outside influences?
What do I believe intimacy is supposed to look like? Where did those beliefs come from?
How do gender roles or societal expectations shape how I show up in relationships?
5. Relational Awareness
How do I know when I feel safe enough to be vulnerable with someone?
What helps me feel most desired, valued, or cared for in intimate relationships?
How do I navigate differences in desire, needs, or boundaries with partners?
How do power dynamics (in relationships, culture, or gender) show up in my experience of sex and intimacy?
6. Forward-Looking & Empowering
What feels exciting or intriguing to me about exploring my sexuality further?
What fears or hesitations do I carry about deepening intimacy—with myself or with others?
How might I invite more curiosity, creativity, or playfulness into my experience of sex or intimacy?
What would it mean to experience sex and intimacy as an expression of self-compassion and wholeness?
Deepen Connection and Intimacy: Relationship Therapy in Fort Collins
I encourage all my clients to explore these topics, no matter what they come in for. Reflecting on sex, intimacy, and connection isn’t just about the physical—it can illuminate patterns in all areas of your relationships. This kind of self-exploration often helps you:
Communicate more clearly: Understanding your own needs, boundaries, and desires makes it easier to express them to others.
Build emotional closeness: Exploring intimacy can deepen trust and vulnerability with partners, friends, and family.
Enhance self-compassion: Learning to sit with your curiosity without judgment strengthens your relationship with yourself.
Navigate relational challenges: Awareness of relational patterns—including power dynamics, attachment styles, and cultural or internalized beliefs—can help you make more intentional choices.
Expand connection beyond sexual relationships: Intimacy and relational awareness influence friendships, work relationships, and family dynamics, helping you show up more authentically in all areas of life.
By approaching these topics in therapy, you create a safe space to explore curiosity, challenge old assumptions, and experiment with new ways of relating—to yourself and to others.
If you’re ready to explore your relationship with sex, intimacy, and connection in a supportive, nonjudgmental environment, relationship therapy in Fort Collins can help you build deeper, more fulfilling connections across every aspect of your life.
